We Shall Overcome...
It’s a scene of chaos in the chaotic little household of the two main characters this blog is concerned with. The bedroom shows all signs of a recent battle and shouts coming from the sitting room hint that things have not yet settled down.
Bugger: I’m warning you, you sonuvabitch, you hand it right back –
Goddie, at this moment, waves two sheets of paper like a matador. The documents are evidently the objects of dissent here.
Goddie (reading while keeping an eye on Bugger): C’mon, dude. Why wouldn’t you share this with me, now? It’s just your curriculum vitae. What species is that again? Biology was never my strong point.
Bugger: See? That’s exactly why I don’t want to share stuff with you. Your sole purpose is to poke fun at everything I do. Now –
Goddie: “Education…. Experience…Achievements…” Fairly textbook.
Bugger: Yeah, well, being a deviant doesn’t always serve the purpose.
Goddie: I never knew you spent three years in a fume-filled laboratory. What were you inhaling?
Bugger: It’s not my fault that my university didn’t provide ventilation.
Goddie: Is that what addled your brain? I wonder…
Bugger: That, and a combination of cheap street food. And lot of Nietzsche and Russell.
Goddie: Don’t be so sanctimonious. You spent your life trying to become a nerd.
Bugger: …
Goddie: “Experience – can tie shoelaces with one hand.. Proficient in using a nail-trimmer…” Impressive.
Bugger: Hey –
Goddie: And you even have a certificate for backstage production help for a theater company. Wow. That must have really been an illuminating experience.
Bugger: Yes, I was holding one of the stage-lights in place for three-hour periods.. Almost got electrocuted… that was really a turning point in my career.
Goddie: I can imagine. What’s this? “Managed to zip up my fly all by myself after the annual Oktoberfest celebration?” This should go under “Achievements”.
Bugger: Yeah, I am still formatting this part.
Goddie: You have a long list of honours, man. “LFAPR medal – 2005”. That’s for…?
Bugger: It’s for growing a magnificent goatee outside
Goddie: You’ve got a lot of Heineken coasters as well.
Bugger: Collected from several bars over the period of time. Memoirs of –
He makes a sudden grab at the papers. Goddie deflects.
Goddie: A small fortune spent in developing a robust flab across your midsection. What kind of job market are you targeting?
Bugger: Well, I try not to get entangled in the already super-segmented professional world. I am ready for all challenges. Anything.
Goddie: In other words, you are willing to serve anyone – from call centers to becoming on-street Santa Claus figures for Giordano.
Bugger: As long as it pays.
Goddie: And this… 3 consecutive years spent as chairman of the International Committee for Prevention of Cruelty Against Junior High Students by Inebriated Middle-aged Manchester United Fans.. Uh. Man, that’s awesome. Really.
Bugger: I hate Man-U.
Goddie: How long have you been looking for a job?
Bugger: Umm…
Goddie: These papers look dog-eared and yellowed, man. You might want to print another copy.
Bugger: You wanna skip your meal tonight? Because I can either feed your bottomless stomach or spend on printouts.
Goddie: Oh, c’mon now –
Bugger (looking tearful): I don’t care if my talents go unappreciated. I will bear neglect with honour but not compromise on my dignity. We will starve but I will not sell insurance to gullible people.
Goddie: Well –
Bugger: We shall not surrender.
Goddie: I heard one can earn up to $30 a day playing guitar on
Bugger (indignantly): Are you suggesting…..?
Goddie: Not at all. It’s just my nature to plan for contingencies.
Bugger: Did you check the mailbox today? Any responses?
Goddie: For the fifth time – YES. I checked the mail. Still no responses. And your rich aunt in
A considerable pause.
Bugger: Well…..ok. Where’s my mandolin?
What? You still want more? Shameless rubbernecks! Leave us to drag on in peace.
